The Menu From Beggars

A Baby-Owned Restaurant for Dogs

Hand-rolled Cheese Crumples

An original! First, a slice of American cheese is torn into millions of pieces. The closest pieces are then kneaded like clay into tiny wads. Just before serving, the wads are smeared against the table edge and dropped scrumptiously to the floor.

Artisanal Giant Croutons

We take the heel of a sourdough loaf, suck on it for 20 minutes, then let it air dry in a couch cushion.

Strawberry Globs in a light Saliva Reduction

Our specialty – these gems are macerated to a viscous gel, then drooled into your open jaws.

Silly Guacachili

Served in courses, this is eaten first in great fistfuls from the Chef himself, and then licked from his face and torso as he giggles with delirium.

Floaters

A local favorite, chunks of un-chewed & pre-chewed food are soaked in a bowl of drinking water where they expand to 5x their normal size. (Ingredients change daily. Ask your waiter for more details.)

From Life, The Universe & Everything

A collection of infrequent personal essays

by John Photos